Have your fears emanated through to your children to the point where they affect how they (your children) interact with the world?
I once heard that we create our own fears in our own heads just by thinking too much. We do not have all the answers to all that we don’t know, but that is why adventure and discovery are there. When you look at a child’s interaction with the world, the first time it is able to follow moving objects, do you ever wonder what happened to that curious look in your own eyes?
LESEGO in All For You, this week’s short story, could be seen by some as a typical teen girl looking for an easy life. But on the other hand one can look at her as someone who never lost her sense of wonder as a child. She did not look back and want to fall on to the comfort of her parents’ love, but went into the world and created her own story.
What I discovered was that so many others just concluded that nothing good can ever come from such a person as Lesego, who they saw as a burden to society, but never saw that one of her children will turn out to be a genius.
Taking her parent’s reaction to her pregnancy, might have been influenced by their own past experiences. We should remember that most African cultures, once a girl child have their first menstrual cycle, they are deem a full grown woman ready for marriage. Which could be have been one of her mother’s fears, and that her child never go through such.
Again Lesego shows us the other side of fear.
Lesego became a paralyzed parent when it came to her own children’s discipline. We saw how GOITSEMANG was able to do as she pleased and talk back and swear at her mother, even in-front of other people. Society might judge her harshly in this regard and not lend a hand to guide her to be a better person for her children, in order to cut the circle of those they deem a burden.
From Lesego’s life experiences, Goitsemang was just a reflection of her mother and that it was expected to be that way, since it was the only way she knew a girl child to behave. She let her fears take over and blind her to what was the truth. We rush to act without questioning what the real deal is. Goitsemang rebelled just to have a better outcome in life, she was lucky to have found her support in her boyfriend and his family, which is very rare in our societies these days.
We saw Goitse turn out okay by her own account, and that means her fears of turning out like her mother propelled her to hold herself high and not let society label her otherwise. She learned to appreciate her mother’s complex life and all the fears that build her to be the person she is. Did her mom’s fears rub off on her? Yes they did because she is now an over protective involved mother.
How conscious are you of yours?