We meet, we fall in love, grow apart and fall out of love, with ourselves and others.
What does all those experiences do to you as a person and how to they influence your interactions with the world?
It is hard to see the growth points from past love relationships because we are still hurting or we feel such hatred towards the other person, that we don’t want anything that reminds us of them to come out of our months?
Why do we keep hurting ourselves over and over just because we don’t want to let go, move on and forgive?
That person has shown you in one way or another that you are not a feature in anything that they do, except not repeating the things they did with you. If they were not treating you the way you expected to be treated, they learned that lesson and now you see them with someone else, and they are doing all that they did not with you.
And what do you do, you blow up and carry the hurt that they don’t know nothing about. They are not there to see you cry, eat junk, be frustrated with the kids or binge drink. Yes love hurts and we must allow ourselves to mourn that loss, but just like with any disappointment, we must never unpack and live there forever.
Love hurts, but your children and anyone in your life, should not be denied your love just because your relationship expectations where not met by your previous partner. Did you even communicate those expectations in an understandable language while you were with the person? I am not talking about your screaming matches when you had your dissatisfaction moment.
I am talking about when you were still negotiating the foundations of your principles that were to build your relationship. Did you take your time to show not tell, the person that they were off track of the way you agreed you were going to grow your relationship? When I say show, I don’t mean throw a tantrum.
Did you realize that you are able to be selfish with your ‘me’ time now, so as to be able to give all of you to your kids? Oh you did not because you are always thinking of where the money for this and that is going to come from, sorry about that. But take time to breathe and you might find a solution to that problem in that moment of being still.
The world and your kids do not owe you your happiness, that last partner did not leave with your happiness, your bank account is not a measure and source of your happiness. Your self love is your gold mine of your ever lasting happiness. Be at peace with all that you are, your good and bad, ups and downs, shape and falling hair, that is you and there will never be other you as long as you shall live.
Love…it’s an act and it start inside you. Your children deserve a better and happy role model, be present.